Being Done With the Three Years
Cut off. No more. No explanations. No more Sex and Porn Addicts Anonymous. (SPAA) Finished! No more counting the dirty thoughts. I am not free of the addiction to sex and pornography. I realize what will happen to me if I indulge. I will descend into a tortured state. Go on a binge. I yearned for an ejaculation episode thirty minutes ago. Instead I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked. I didn't rely on my Higher Power to relieve the urge, neither to sex out or to smoke. I could have but I didn't. I want to justify this lack of faith, and I understand the why of that is because my ego is defending its turf. It's the original sin of pride. But I will pray before going to bed, as I will pray in the morning upon wakening. And the transcendent love of my God in Three Persons will sustain me for another twenty four hours. No matter what I do, as long as that union with my Higher Power, as long as that relationship is developed, as long as I do not reject Him, He is with me...