I hugged a tree today, heartily…needfully to draw upon the
energy of its very sap. I acknowledged the sight of the tree in my eyes, and
reflected. This tree was born years before my own birth, and will be alive
years after my own death. I reflected upon my family tree. The storm thrashed
winds of time in crisis toss wild the branches. The roots hold steadfast.
I grounded myself today. I acknowledged sights, a kite, a
bench, a tree, a dog. I acknowledged the touch of the felt in my hat, the paper
in my hand, the grass, the leather. The sounds of the distant tractor, the wind
over my ear, the movement of tree branches, I acknowledged. The smell of
the grass, I acknowledged.
I felt the sting of the pang of need in me, and welcomed
its discomfort. I let it go, like dropping a ball. Repeatedly, I dropped the sting
of the pang until it diminished. It did diminish.
Where the pang hurt in my stomach, I caressed there with my
hand gently, whispering to myself “I love you Michael. Without condition, I love
you."
Today I loved myself in Parque Paraiso.
I became equal, no better, no worse.
I fulfilled a prerequisite; I MUST love myself first before
I can truly love anybody else.
