The mentor
asserts that only uncommon men end their porn addictions.
I believe
the assertion.
God knows.
The depth, the weight, the integration of the addiction into my biology, decade
after decade so much so that one could truthfully say that I lived to porn and
masturbate. God knows how many porn quitting programs I have tried
unsuccessfully. God understands why, at times, the feeling of despairing
sentiment that this enslavement to the addiction is permanently glued onto my
soul.
Yet, if
others have escaped…if others are escaping…if others with dependencies no less
grave than mine are shaking themselves
free, I can!
I not only
can, I am. The acting out that three years ago was normally two times a day is
these days normally two times every three months.
The red
scars and painful disfigurements on the organ have almost all been healed.
I would not
and still cannot have achieved these landmarks of hope giving accomplishment
without the ongoing support and brotherhood of other men enlisted with me on the same team going forward on this journey.
It is a
journey into an unknown, finding a new being that was always that being meant to be by
the Creator of beings.
But onto
details.
The
structure is organized. The 2022-year goals are established.
The
milestones towards these goals are printed out. I will be able to view and
assess my progress.
During each
day, I work towards the achievement of these goals. The money earning and
saving goal, the Spanish language speaking goal and the publication of the
third book of poetry goal are these three main goals.
But no sir
and no mam, your writer does not work at these
first!
He work first
at the morning routine, first at the exercise, first at the visualization and meditation,
first at the evaluative thinking practice. He works first at the reading of books meant to aid
porn addicts end what is this unhealthy coping behavior.
Do you know
what then happens? The energy and the drive and the passion that spawns forth
from within as a result of putting first things first also engenders the drive
to accomplishment of the secondary and material goals.
Experience is all the confirmation needed.
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