Venture with
me, dear reader…on a journey into the unknown.
I am petrified.
My fear shudders. I consoled myself this afternoon with a love letter to myself.
And did what I have never done. I forgave myself for the wreckage I smashed upon
my life.
Have you
ever believed you are a slave? I have. I am enslaved, truth be told.
At least, from
a certain perspective, I am. From the perspective of the accuser, I am. From
the perspective of the liar who seeks my death, I am exactly that. A slave. I advance to this liar plenty of
evidence to support the untruth that I am a slave. Who enslaved me? I did. I
enslaved myself to survive, first off by eating sweet foods compulsively. I still am a compulsive overeater. I have been
since I was five years old, and now, at 71 years, I still falter and slip and
eat to escape feeling. Feelings, my friend. Those feeling I most need to feel to
know how best to care for myself.
This journey
into the unknown of myself, I invite you to follow its path. I invite you to
participate. I seek transformation, metamorphosis defined in insect terms as
the transformation from an immature form to an adult form. The Oxford Languages
definition elaborates. “a change of the form or nature of a thing or person
into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means.”
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