Me Speaking

I barely could see my boat. Howling wind and driving rain churned the water into surging waves that bucked, pitched and rocked every boat in Gate 5. I was going to skull out and board my boat, but before doing that, Rico and I had talked. I had a World War 1 German Army rifle. Rico and I agreed on a signal. If I needed help, I would fire two shots to alert Rico. He said he would then come out to do a rescue. I reached my cabin cruiser, the waves pitching my dinghy and cabin cruiser so much I had to wait until the right time; then I leaped aboard the boat and tied off my dinghy. I felt the boat moving strangely and clambered to the deck and pulled on the anchor line until I see the rope torn in two. My weight had been enough to add sufficient strain to tear apart the rope. My cabin cruiser now with no anchor was being swept towards Tiburon in this major storm at night, and I went for my rifle. I fired two shots into the sky. I remember my cabin cruiser passed a 30 foot steel hu...

Rico was readying to set sail for middle earth. I don’t remember what he called it, maybe Atlantis . I didn’t understand. He talked like there was a homeland at a set of coordinates under the ocean, at the center of the earth, and he was going to get there. He said he needed a generator to take on the journey. I didn't know for what. But we went to a Marin County hill overlooking the entrance to San Francisco Bay. I saw an opening carved out of the hill that led to a large cave in the mountain. The whole structure was obviously built by the military. I don’t know if to protect San Francisco with cannon fire against Japanese ships during World War II, or to direct short range missiles during the Cold War. But inside, Rico pointed at a sizable, square steel machine with dials and switches over the face of it, and said that was his generator. Rico claimed he was going to set sail for his destination in a Chinese Junk . I remember it was a sunny day.  Rico and I had motored fro...

Rico sported a mustache and goatee, and leaned towards the serious side. Actually he had somewhat of a menacing presence. At the least he exuded an air that warned people not to mess with him. He was little less than average height, with long hair to the neck, and had a packed, solid build. Rico was a generation older than most living in the Sausalito Houseboat Community  circa 1971. He was building a wood boat when I knew him. It was a 30 foot  double ended boat on  stays off the swaying wood dock leading to his and Dolly’s flat bottom houseboat in Gate 5. I’d see Rico working and knew he was building a fine boat because I saw that for myself. Dolly had cascading red hair and alabaster skin. She was about 30 years younger than Rico and the love of his life.   I lived anchored out on the water in my wood 25 foot cabin cruiser. I’d anchor out at different places at different times, maybe off the Heliport or Gate 3. Or maybe off Gate 6 or Gate 5. At any of these...

I once re-finished furniture for a living. A lady came into the shop one day with six chairs, wanting them colored white.  So I started bleaching them. I figured the “perfect way” to color them white was to get down to the bones of the wood. I spent days bleaching those chairs and although they lightened they didn't get white. The lady eventually stomped into my shop and took her chairs before they were done. All that work for nothing and all I had to do was spray a couple coats of white opaque lacquer over them. Dining room set finished by the writer. The job would have been done in two hours and the customer a happy camper. Why didn’t I do that!? I suppose I think in the back of my mind a job has to be hard. No matter how simple every job has to be hard. I’m learning. I don’t aim so much for perfection now. I aim to do the best I can. Perfectionism is motivated by errant thinking. Maybe it's motivated by a subconscious desire to get more kudos from a parent. Maybe...

Technology is like hammers and saws for building a house. It’s a parcel of tools. It doesn’t ruminate or go nebulous. It’s for getting a job done. And that's what I like about technology posts. Need to count the stars for a project in science class? Type into Google “I want to know how to count the stars?” Want to learn how to start a blog?  Type “How do I start a blog?” Google puts the most popular answers to the question at the top of the resultant page. You can go through more pages of lesser ranked results to find an answer perhaps better suited to your needs. Google is like a taxi.  You tell the driver where you want to go. I question Google a lot to find instructions on how to improve the internet visibility of Me Speaking. I want to know how to use hash tags or write HTML  and how to improve my blog writing. Blogging is at this point almost more about reading than writing. What motivates me to write? The core of it is writing itself. I write about...

I feel better when I rock. This subtle tension exists inside that I can’t abide. It's like I need to rock. Sit me down, except when driving, and I’m more than likely to start rocking where ever I am. I don't rock back and forth when I'm getting a haircut or when I'm typing.   Do people notice? I’ve had Tardive Dyskinesia (TD) at least four years, and once in a while I've caught a few. But most people don’t seem to notice. Only my best friend has ever said a thing about it or asked why I do it. It hasn’t made a difference in my social relations. It doesn’t change who I am. Only once did I observe that anybody looked askance at my rocking. I think a huge majority of people respect norms of civilized social behavior. It must be so. I don't know how else to account for the respect people show me by ignoring my rocking back and forth disorder. I don't give a hoot about my TD either. I'm relaxed about it and people can sense that I am. What causes...

Want help? Below are descriptions of five websites that offer help in different ways. Begslist is a cyber-panhandling site where people build their personal donation center. Begslist claims this is easy and shows you how. The site is free for donors and solicitors. Once you write and post a beg, people who read it may help and can donate. A list of categories on the left of the homepage organize the types of begs. Examples include “disaster help”, “help paying rent”, “money for travel”, and “family crisis.”   Lumosity is a website that is like a gym for the mind. It consists of more than forty exercises that improve, among other mental assets, memory, attention, flexibility, problem solving and speed. Lumosity recommends daily training and the sessions last about fifteen minutes. A month to month subscription costs $14.95. Lumosity tracks your scores for each exercise, and as you improve, gives more challenging exercises. It compares your scores to median scores for other...

It is central to the global transformation taking place bigger than ever. Like it or not, we are becoming more digitally connected. For some baby boomers, the loss of privacy has felt like a displacement. We prefer face to face contact. Others relish hours in chat rooms typing to “anonymous” people identified by “nicks.” I see people almost everywhere connected by devices. We’ve got a world of Facebook, Linked-In and Twitter accounts. We’ve got millions of bloggers. We pick and choose the news we prefer to read. We follow the buzz and what’s trending. A few times though, I’ve wondered if this new digital age in which we live is producing an unintended outcome---a collectivization of the mind. I mean a global mind that hampers individuality. I’m going out on a limb. We’re not The Borg of Star Trek fame. The e-mail and social networking capacities provide significant leverage for individuals to be themselves to a greater audience than ever. So what am I trying to say?  Part of...

Was the mission portrayed in the new movie Sole Survivor cursed from the beginning? It doesn’t appear so at first, but later, in the new Afghan war film starring Mark Wahlberg, it shows how an undercover Navy Seal mission code named Operation Red Wings encounters almost completely fatal opposition by the Taliban. The team is inserted by helicopter into the Afghan landscape and hikes deep into rocky and forested mountain terrain. Their objective is to maintain a look out on a village and then terminate resident Taliban leader Ahmad Shah . Excellent cinematography in the film shows panoramic mountain vistas, majestic sun rises and the rugged beauty of terrain in Afghanistan. Costumes, setting and varied characters add dynamic realism. Sole Survivor opens with scenes of Navy Seal training . Soaked by waves on a beach for hours. Crawls through mud. Jumps into a swimming pool with tied feet. Interspersed scenes depict the Taliban. In one an Afghan man is getting his head hacked of...

I believe in the value of individuals. I value the belief so much that abortion goes against my grain. What about the homeless mother with two young daughters collecting cans and bottles out of garbage cans and sleeping in parks? She's pregnant. Looking at her situation, I’d view abortion in a more acceptable light and probably alter my perspective. The ability to switch perspective is important. Most of us have emotional buttons and strong feelings. We're convinced our point of view is the only possible one correct. We're immune to perspective change because when our buttons are pushed by someone who espouses a differing opinion, we automatically don’t listen. We almost can’t listen because our takes are welded tight into our identities. Our defenses are automatic.They shield us. They protect our perspectives so we can’t look at matters in a different light. My argument is that's part and parcel of the human condition . I’m naturally a Democrat. My instincts e...